Finances can be an especially divisive issue in marriage, especially when it is revealed that one spouse has been hiding thousands’ worth of accumulated debt from the other. Sometimes, however, years can pass before the secret comes out. How do you know if your spouse might be hiding debt from you? While of course there is no substitute for open and honest communication, here are some red flags for you to be aware of in case you suspect that your spouse might be hiding credit card debt.
Frequently Checking the Mail
Does your spouse tend to check the mail before you get home, or rush to check it before you do? Some who have hidden debt from their spouses admit that they made it a point to get home early and shred debt-ridden credit card bills before their spouses could discover them.
Mail from Other Banks
On a similar note, if two spouses have an agreement to open only mail addressed to their own names, then this could be an opportunity of deception for the spouse hiding debt. Some who have discovered that their spouses were hiding debt have said that the first sign was their spouse getting an unusually high amount of mail from multiple banks. Sometimes this mail can go undetected for years under the pretense that it is only junk mail.
Insisting on Managing Finances
Does your spouse insist on taking care of the finances for the two of you? This is could be an act of good will in a marriage, or a logical decision based on one spouse having specialized in finance, but other times it could mean that one spouse is trying to keep outside expenses a secret from the other.
Unexplained Purchases
If you’re noticing new clothing items or unexpected gifts that don’t have a place on your credit card statements, this could be a sign that your spouse has a bank account that you don’t know about.
Feeling Out of Sync
If you’re feeling out of sync in other areas in your marriage, chances are you could be out of sync when it comes to finances—even if you previously thought that the two of you were on the same page financially. Finances should be a central part of communication in marriage, and if they aren’t, maybe this is because your spouse if deflecting conversations about money.