With the holidays being a time that is so often centered around family, navigating the holiday season following a divorce can be especially difficult. If you’re recently divorced and aren’t anticipating the holidays with the same enthusiasm that you’re used to, here are some things that you can do to ensure that your holiday season remains merry and bright.
The holidays are also a time for friends.
No matter what your family circumstances might be, you can always make it a point to have a holiday get-together with your closest friends. You can even treat it like you would a family get-together, arranging to exchange gifts, enjoy a holiday meal together, watch a holiday movie, and more. Involve your friends in your holiday celebrations to feel the spirit of the season.
Start new traditions.
One of the things you may miss most is the holiday traditions that you used to share during the holidays. But rather than keeping your mind on traditions of the past, you can start new traditions to enjoy this holiday season and in the years to come. Maybe you start hosting a potluck every year with friends and family members, or maybe you can start watching a holiday movie with friends every year.
Don’t ponder the “what-ifs.”
The holidays can bring to surface the emotions you had immediately following the divorce, along with the “what if” questions you consistently asked yourself following the divorce. You might find yourself thinking things such as “What if we had done things differently?” or “What if we had stayed together for the holidays?” But rather than letting your mind get wrapped up in these unanswerable questions, focus instead on positive thinking. For every negative thought that comes to mind, try matching it with a positive thought or action, such as volunteering or writing a thank you note to a loved one.
Volunteer.
Giving of your time to do service during the holidays is a great way to feel the spirit of the holiday season, and you’ll be helping lift someone else during the holidays in the process. If you’re going to have more alone time than you’re used to this holiday season, rather than seeing it as a reason for self-pity, you can see it as a unique opportunity that you have to give of your time to others.
Have flexible expectations.
Remember that your holidays can still be a happy season without necessarily resembling the holidays that you’ve enjoyed in the past. Be open to new ways of celebrating the holidays, and focus less on what you’re miss out on during this particular holiday season. If you have flexible expectations, you’re much more likely to enjoy celebrating the holidays in new ways.